IT’S big, it’s bold, and it’s been capturing the wandering eye and gossiping tongue of many an Abergavenny native with its whiter than white demeanour and curiously cubist style.

It is of course the mighty monument to modernism that is the new Morrisons superstore.

The pale and imposing monolith has yet to officially open its doors and invite Abergavenny in, but it’s already courting more attention then a fluorescent chicken in a field full of foxes.

It’s been a long time coming, but the eagle has finally landed. For better or worse, Abergavenny’s new cathedral to commerce is set to become as much a part of the town’s landscape as the Town Hall, the Castle, and the Angel Hotel.

And no matter if you regard it as a blot, a blight, a boon, or a benefit, it’s safe to say, the newest shack in town doesn’t look exactly how we were led to believe it would.

In fact, the Chronicle have been inundated with complaints about its ‘imposing’ presence.

“It sticks out like a sore thumb,” said one disgruntled Chronicle reader. “It doesn’t so much as integrate as impose!” Barked another. “I think Monmouthshire County Council promised us a golden egg and delivered an omelette ranted one reader, before launching into an incoherent spiel about freemasonry running unchecked and rampant in the borough.

Never shy about venting his spleen, semi-professional cross-country runner, Johnny Turnip, contacted the paper to let rip on his thoughts about the new development.

“As a runner I get around. And there’s not a square inch of this town I haven’t pounded senseless with my Nike Airs. But just lately, when I’m blazing a trail down Park Avenue at three in the morning and I make a sharp left onto the A40, the sight of that new Morrisons makes me sick. And I’m not joking. I’m talking about actually being on my knees and vomiting profusely. It’s so strange”

Turnip clarified his bizarre behavior by explaining, “I’m a creature of habit and after my early morning cobweb blaster around the Mardy, I thunder into town and head past the site, which in my heart will always belong to the Abergavenny Cattle Market and Slaughtering Association. It’s the route I always use before popping into the 24 hour garage on the Hereford Road for some energy drinks and a pork pie to keep me going until the sun comes up. But this new Morrisons has completely ruined both my routine and my appetite. I can’t run past it without becoming really dizzy, disorientated, and feeling the need to retch. I think it’s because it glows so white at night and it looks like a building from the future.

“Sometimes I think it looks like a mothership that has just landed from some distant galaxy, and inside are a bunch of evil aliens who have come to colonize us. It gives me the spooks. It doesn’t fit in with what I think of as dear old Abergavenny at all.”

Despite Turnip’s fears, an Abergavenny old-timer who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of being persecuted for going against the grain, is all for the new superstore, and told the Chronicle, “There is nothing permanent expect change and a lot of folk in this town would do well to mark that.

“I’ve seen a lot change in Aber over the last 80 years. some good, some bad, but that’s life. In Tudor Street you once had The Albion, the Tudor Arms, The Blue Bell, The Milkman’s, The Old Crosskeys, The Foresters, The Beaufort. Now there’s nowhere to wet your whistle on that stretch of road, but what you gonna do? Stop drinking? No! You just go get a pint elsewhere.

“Same with Morrisons. You can’t buy a sheep or cow on that patch of land anymore, but so what? You can’t live in the past. Morrisons will no doubt have plenty more on offer to keep the people of Aber sweet when they finally open their doors. And let’s be honest, variety is the spice of life. And for my money, when it comes to variety, you can’t beat Morrisons’ deli counter and fresh fish section. Yum! Yum!”